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There is a certain taint in the colors of the world
That which once had been white is never as white...
And the crystal blue skies have become sickly grey
The green fields have withered brown
Everything in the world, a hue of septia.

And my heart,
Once steady in beating
Now finds itself faintly moving at all.

The world seems a much sadder place
The nights seems colder
The days seem much longer, or shorter - I don't know anymore
All that's left is the constant struggle to survive each day
without breaking down
without falling apart
without wanting to disappear..
a losing struggle to hold on to the shattered pieces of myself.

September 3, 2006

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One of the saddest moments in life is when you realize that one does not love you. It's as if a star had said, "I will not shine my light on you."

Then a certain spot in the sky grows dark.

A million shining things, and yet one never fails to notice the empty space among them.
You know deep down that there was once a star there, a star that made the night sky whole..

And now it isn't there anymore.

A wisp of cold wind mixed in as the warm air dissipates with the setting sun,
A touch of frost in a crisp evening breeze - signs of the extinguished light that once radiated from a star.
A light that in fading
Has made the night just a little bit colder,
A little bit darker,
A little less lovely,
And a lot more lonely.
- September 26, 2005

For You

I used to gaze at the sky at night
And look upon the stars
I'd watch them twinkle and admire their light
And wished they weren't so far.
I seek them out when I am sad
Searching constellations I know
I count, one by one, the multitude
Wishing on the light they show.
Then one day, you came along and all the stars grew dim
But they never really grew any darker, than they initially had been
It's just that you were shining brighter than any of them were
And though once they had been beautiful, to you they can't compare.
You have made me see another side to beauty
Far deeper and more profound than what the eyes can see
And now I suddenly find myself unable, to take you off my mind
And all the logic in the world, no reason I can find.
The truth is, even if my mind is a mess from thinking of you too much
It's something that I'll always do because you mean so much.
- March 12, 2005

Sunset

The beauty of a sunset
Is that it doesn't last very long.
The sun steadily sinks below the horizon
Throwing shades of red across the sky.
After a few moments, the last of its rays
Disappear in the night.
And the glow in the horizon
Slowly fades to black.
The sun has set.
The day has passed.
And the sad thing is:
There is no going back.
-February 18, 2005

To -----

Hello. Do you remember me? We've met before, a long time ago. Perhaps a little too long. Despite that, I still haven't forgotten you, though I'm quite sure you don't remember me anymore. You've been a big part of my life, though I know I played little in yours. You have brought me joy, yet you've also given me endless grief.
Why did you have to be so beautiful?
Why did you have to be so unforgettable?
Why did you have to be so indifferent?
I see you quite often and it hurts me so, because even though I can manage to spot you in a crowd, you don't even seem to notice me, even if I passed right in front of you. Now I'm reduced to speaking to you though you're not here; telling you things you will never get to hear. Perhaps that is my destiny, to talk to shadows and chase after stars; shadows that vanish in the light and stars too high to reach.
July 27, 2003

Fragments

There are so many things I want to tell you,
So many things I wish you knew
Of how I felt when I first saw you
And till today I still do.
I want to gaze upon your eyes
And lose myself within their depths...
I want to let you feel my heart
Just to let you know it's there...
I want to make you smile and laugh
And take all your fears away...
I want you to know that I'll be there
If ever you have need of me...
I've lost a great deal of my heart before
To people who threw it out the door
And all I have left is the core,
How I wish I can give you more.
- Jan 25, 2005

Haha, I couldn't make the middle parts rhyme..

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Who are you who comes to haunt me
Who are you who invades my mind
Who are you whom I keep remembering
Who are you whom I seek to find
In the darkness of despair
I turned around to see you there
You bring with you a shining spark
But leave despair as your mark
Yet I cannot seem to turn away
From the beauty you display
And when your visage has passed by
You mark my heart to sink, to die
Who are you who comes to haunt me
Who are you who invades my mind
Who are you whom I keep remembering
Who are you whom I can't seem to find.
- January 20, 2005

No title yet again.